


uncelebrated

by mikaylamazing



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Coda, Episode: s15e14 Last Holiday, Family Dynamics, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26919349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikaylamazing/pseuds/mikaylamazing
Summary: Cas returns to the bunker after 15x14, greeted by guilt and half-eaten cake
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline, Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 91





	uncelebrated

**Author's Note:**

> fair warning, the destiel in this is very faint because i wanted to keep this as in-character and realistic as possible.

Cas comes back to the bunker empty-handed, no closer to finding Amara or figuring out a way to kill either her or Chuck. He knows he’s been out for a while; a part of him intentionally delaying his return, and thereby the inevitable disappointment he would face when he had to tell Sam and Dean. He knows they wouldn’t have said it, not to his face anyway, but he would feel it regardless. He’s been feeling it for days, tenfold after he sent Dean a message that only said “Found nothing. Headed back now.”

So when the front door creaks and slams, announcing his presence, he doesn’t expect a smile. He doesn’t expect anything because it’s the only way he’s made it this far. But he’s halfway down the stairs when Dean comes into view, an apron tied around his waist and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. 

“Hey, you’re back,” he says, walking until he’s only a foot away from Cas. He moves his arms in awkward half-motions until he decides to let them rest at his side.

“Yes, though I do not come bearing gifts.” Cas knows it’s better to get things out of the way, any time spent skirting around the subject, waiting for it to be brought up, is time wasted: time that they  _ do not  _ have.

“Doesn’t even matter,” Dean assures, but Cas can see the way the creases on his forehead deepen, nodding as if also trying to convince himself that it doesn’t matter. Cas can’t think of anything to say that won’t potentially start another argument, but the silence doesn’t even linger long enough to become tense as Dean starts walking back to the kitchen, motioning for Cas to follow. 

“The only thing that matters is this.” He holds out a plate in Cas’ direction, a lumpy, crumbly mass sitting atop it.

“What… what is it?” Cas asks, hoping that it’s gentle enough to not disrupt the smile. His face only contorts for a second.

“It’s cake. And it looked better yesterday,” he says, dipping his pinkie into the frosting and licking it off, “but I can confirm that it still tastes just as good.”

“You got a cake?”

“Uh, I  _ made  _ a cake, by myself, from scratch,” he stresses, still holding the plate with one hand and gesturing with the other. Cas looks a little closer.

“And it’s… edible?” 

“‘ _ And it’s edible?’  _ Look, are you gonna take the cake or are you just gonna stare at it like you’re from some cakeless alien planet?” Dean asks, noticeably flustered but still smiling the tiniest bit.

“Well, I’m not from a planet at all,” Cas counters, but takes the plate, lifting the fork and cutting off a small bite from the edge. 

“Is there a reason for this cake?” he asks, bringing the bite to his mouth and letting all of the flavor that his taste buds can possibly fathom settle on his tongue. It isn’t a bad experience but it isn’t great either. He keeps his mouth shut about that.

“Does there have to be a reason?” Dean asks in return. He looks away and shifts his weight from one foot to the other and then back again. Despite this, he sighs when Cas looks at him, pointed and waiting.

“Made it for Jack’s birthday.” Silence falls over the room, and this time Cas is the one looking everywhere, anywhere but Dean’s face slowly being overtaken by useless guilt. It isn’t his fault. 

“Right. That was yesterday. I forgot,” is all Cas can say, but in his head it’s  _ ‘How could I forget?’ ‘I don’t forget things.’ ‘I forgot my son’s birthday.’ ‘I forgot my  _ son’s _ birthday.’ _

“Hey, in your defense you were kinda…”  _ Busy doing nothing,  _ Dean doesn’t say.  _ Dead when he was born,  _ he also doesn’t say. The end of the sentence is left unsaid and the silence finally goes taut and itchy and uncomfortable. 

When he wishes Jack a happy belated birthday, Jack smiles at him, wrapping his arms around Cas, tight like he never wants to let go. “I think the candles Dean has are magic,” is all he says, and Cas has to leave the room before his eyes tear up at the implication.

Cas takes time later that night to ponder his fate and the paths it might take, thinking that maybe happiness is a small price to pay if it means he never has to miss another birthday.

**Author's Note:**

> saw a lot of people talking about it being wrong to celebrate jack's birthday without cas, and i agree, but i also think cas would definitely find a way to blame himself for it because he has a phD in self-loathing and guilt, especially when it comes to jack. sorry for this :/


End file.
